When You Gonna Have One?

How often have you been asked this question?

For those of you that know me I absolutely love babies and little ones. When I’m around small children my heart just melts and I simply cannot stop watching them out of awe and admiration. They are without a doubt the most amazing and beautiful things in the world (in my opinion).

However, I don’t yet have any children of my own. I may never have any children of my own, I may have 10 children or 3 children or 1 child. There may be things that occur along my journey which means I can’t have them, or which mean I can have them in abundance, this is something I do not know. Nobody really knows.

When I am around a pregnant woman or around children, I am not jealous. I do not wish that was me instead of them, I am literally just in amazement at the pure natural beauty of it all. I love being around pregnant women, I love hearing their stories and their experiences of their own pregnancy.

I have always been surrounded by babies and children, especially now (I guess it comes along with the age). Most of those close to me can see how much I adore babies and often ask me when I will have some of my own. Having children of my own would of course be a delight however I feel that this is not where we should be placing the importance.

Without sounding absolutely cheese on toast, children are miracles. I’m currently in the middle of a Pregnancy Yoga Teacher Training which has blown my mind. Actually creating a baby seems so unbelievably impossible it’s an absolute miracle how it even happens right from the beginning. As the baby grows and the woman's body changes, again I can hardly believe how smart and intuitive the human body is and what it does along this journey. It is such a delicate and intricate process that for me personally our focus should be placed on the life that is here (or about to be here).

Creating a life is a delicate journey and our questions around this should reflect that. When people comment on how much I love babies this makes me feel happy. When people ask me when I am going to have my own, this makes me feel slightly uncomfortable, simply because I cannot answer it. I do not know when or how or if. What I do know is that being in the presence of pregnant women, babies and children fills me with joy. This is what is important. This is where we should be focusing. Comment on that to your heart's content. But be gentle when asking women when they’re going to have their own.

I know people who can’t have children, I know people who don’t want children, I know people that have adopted, I know people who have lost children, I know people who have had lots of healthy children. None of these make you a good or bad person. I believe that when a child is born, any child, there is an opportunity to share something beautiful with the ones that you love.

The bond between parent and baby is of course very special, but so is the bond between Aunty/Uncle and baby, friend and baby or Grandparent and baby. In my view all the children from my family and my close friends are my own. I care for them with all my love, I see them as the complete miracle they are. I feel like if we focus less on ‘when will you have your own’ and more of ‘this new life is part of our family’, that will take a huge pressure off so many people and allow people space to enjoy the joy of each and every child.

So tread mindfully when asking, 'When you gonna have your own?' because in the end we cannot fully give an answer, instead share the love of all the beautiful babies that are around you. Without a doubt, that little being that you have created will bring so much joy and happiness to everyone who meets them.