Stop Slating Skinny

My struggles with my body size.

I have been thin my whole life, (apart from when I was a chubby little baby) it’s the way I naturally am.

“...people then decided I was bulimic.”

Growing up, my weight was regularly commented on and this has always bothered me.

Sometimes it was people making fun, other times it was people complimenting me. Either way I didn’t enjoy the attention. So, I started wearing clothes to hide my size, I became ashamed. I made a conscious effort to let everyone see how much I could eat in an attempt to prove that this is how I am naturally and that I didn’t really want to be this skinny. This eating big size portions had a reverse effect, in that people then decided I was bulimic.

Once someone mentioned that I was bulimic, that meant everyone started to think it and believe it to be true. There were many tears from my family and my friends and a desperate attempt from me to prove I wasn’t. My room and bags were searched looking for laxatives, I was followed to the bathroom after every meal and I was no longer allowed to eat with everyone else during lunch time at school.

“It gave me body dysmorphia.”

What effect did this have on me? It gave me body dysmorphia. When I looked in the mirror I did not see what everyone else saw. I became obsessed with my size. I began by saying I was no thinner than my friends, who were clearly a little bigger than me. Then I started to believe it. I would wear my friend’s clothes and genuinely be confused as to why they were too big for me. I never believed my friends when they made a laugh and a joke about how we weren’t the same size. It was only much later in life, when I began to practice yoga, that I started to doubt my size, that it was time to face this and realise it’s something that I have to deal with. Another big old life obstacle!

Yoga has given me the appreciation for my body. It has taught me that it is incredible, no matter what size it is. As long as it is healthy and that you respect it. Yes I am skinny, I eat well and I listen to what my body needs. I avoid any faddy diet and eat the foods my body enjoys. Taking my yoga teacher training and then going on to teaching yoga has furthered my respect and confidence for my body, however something that still hurts is the box I am now put in.

“Everyone has their story, be kind. Always”

Hearing people comment on how someone ‘looks like’ a person that does yoga, or how they feel it must be so easy for me being so skinny, how there’s too many skinny girls posting themselves all over social media doing yoga is hurtful and harmful.

There is no telling the story behind that person or how hard they have worked to get to where they are physically and maybe even mentally. By sitting there judging and commenting on the size of a person, you are missing the opportunity to see the journey of yoga. The journey that person may have been on or may still be on in exploring and appreciating their own body.

It took me a long time and a lot of effort to become stronger, to become more flexible and more confident. I have come so far physically, mentally and emotionally, my practice and study of yoga has taken me on this journey and continues to do so. Everyone has their story, be kind. Always.