The First Fast

My first attempt at trying to do Ramadan.

It was a last minute decision to fast for the first day of Ramadan. True Amy style, I did not research, I did not prepare, so my first ever time fasting did not end so well.

“...how hard could this really be?”

I woke up at 3.30am with my Moroccan housemate, had some Moroccan tea and some bread (in hindsight not the best food to eat) then headed back off to sleep. Of course I could not fall back to sleep, so instead I did a few meditations and waited for my alarm to go off.

I got up at 6am, feeling confident and thinking, how hard could this be really?

“..things started to rapidly go downhill.”

I got my ride to work and taught an hours yoga class at 7am, an active flow and of course joined in for a few of the poses (really reserving my energy, not). I often went for my water bottle, realizing it was not there (no water in Ramadan). It occurred to me that taking a sip of water as I taught was actually a habit that I had picked up.

After yoga I stayed in the Yoga Shala, as I knew going downstairs with the guests as they ate breakfast would be a huge temptation. Instead I decided to do my own yoga practice, Day 1 of a 30 Day Yoga with Adrienne (again really thinking about the energy stores I had for the day).

After that I sat and did a little work trying to find cover yoga teachers, which can often be quite stressful. Then I took myself off for a walk down to the beach, where I hired a parasol and a beach chair and thought to myself, this will do!

It was hot, then windy, then cold, then hot, so without me really doing anything my body was working hard to calibrate to these changing temperatures. I watched a few episodes of Grace and Frankie on Netflix (why not). Then in the heat of the day, I decided to take a walk. Smart.

Around 3pm I headed back to work at the Surf House, this was when things started to go rapidly downhill. I tried to meditate, my body started to tell me off. I started thinking about water and tea, mmm tea. I dreamed about eating a delicious grape. It took me back to when I was in hospital, Nil By Mouth and all I wished for was just one grape.

I tried to do a little Yin yoga, by this point my body was getting really angry, and my head. I wrapped myself in blankets and tried to rest. I went to talk to my colleagues to try and distract myself. I couldn’t believe how fine they all looked and how awful I felt. I toyed with the idea of drinking a glass of water, I had another class to teach. I tried to distract myself, it was 5pm. Just a few more hours left. 30 minutes until the class, I couldn’t decide what to do. Luckily, that evening no one turned up for the yoga class (they were all drinking delicious cold drinks in the sunshine).

6pm and I’m vomiting up bubbles and a bit of bile. My head feels like there’s a heavy metal band inside. My body is screaming at me.

6.30pm my ride home. We have to stop half way home so I can vomit up a few more bubbles.

7pm I shower and I feel a tiny bit better. Only thirty minutes left.

..it is the greatest respect to all of human kind.”

Then that beautiful sound of the Call to Prayer. I eat a date and my stomach is not happy. Then I have some tea and it’s like heaven. I slowly start to come back to life. I eat a little more. I drink more tea and water. My head clears and my stomach settles.

I call my Mum as it’s her birthday. She thinks I’m crazy as usual. Then I head off to bed.

Muslims do Ramadan for one whole month as a way to understand and appreciate how it feels to have no access to clean water and food. In my view, it is the greatest respect to all of human kind.

Then next day I felt so calm. My head, that has been so busy and full and chaotic for the last year, is finally quiet. I felt focused and clear. I felt so full of life. It’s like I was able to put it all into perspective. That I am here, I am alive. I have my basic human needs, water, food, (and tea).

This is all we need to live. Everything else is just a bonus.

UPDATE: This year I managed two whole days of Ramadan. It was a little bit easier, but still a struggle. My morning coffee was missed the most. Let's see what next year brings.